The Lesson of the Chinese Finger Puzzle

Have you ever played with a Chinese finger puzzle?  I remember them flying out of piñatas at childhood birthday parties.  They were always my favorite party favor.  The way the toy works is like this:  when you insert your index fingers into the tube, you find that they become trapped there. The harder you pull in an attempt to free your fingers, the tighter the puzzle grips them.  I usually feel a moment of panic each time – even though I know the way to free myself.  The only escape is to press your fingers toward each other, INTO the tube, and carefully, intentionally ease your fingers out.  It’s counter intuitive.

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Conflict between people is like this.  Pulling and fighting for one’s way (feeling righteous) will only embroil one more deeply in the struggle.  The only escape is surrendering through the heart.  We can take a hint from the Chinese finger puzzle, and behave counter to our initial impulse. Try giving TO the person you want something from.  But we must give to her deepest heart, not to her ego.  We never want to feed an ego, as that would be wrongly guided from every angle.

When we practice loosening the knot of conflict by surrendering into it, we come to realize something remarkable about the person we’re fighting with.  It begins to dawn on us that only a wound so desperate could possibly cause a person who loves us to hurt us so.  We know we have arrived at true forgiveness when we find that it is accompanied by compassion.  We begin to understand that a wounded person wounds others.  They need our love, not our fight.  This level of forgiveness releases BOTH individuals from the illusions of their wounds. A surprise benefit is that this practice teaches us self-forgiveness, as well.  Then the feeling of freedom is born within the self, as well as between you and your friend.  Along with that, complete peace.  And sometimes tears of gratitude.

This is what we call spiritual healing:  taking the dense matter of the ego/mind: the opinions, beliefs and emotions – and transforming them into Love.  This kind of healing is permanent.  It builds upon itself each time a person practices it until one day, he or she emerges a wholly new being. Now, did you ever think a child’s toy could teach you so much?

Wisdom is embedded everywhere…..

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About Paige Bartholomew

Paige Bartholomew is a licensed therapist and certified hypnotist, specializing in New Paradigm Heart Technologies for transforming the self. A student of the Law of One, a teacher of A Course In Miracles, and a Sufi Master Teacher, Paige can show you how to live from an entirely new paradigm of love. Make the shift you’ve been longing for and start living the peace and certainty that is the True You. For information on psychotherapy and healing work with Paige:
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